Megan Loses

If you are a regular reader (thank you again, my three best friends), you’ve probably noticed the change in appearance on my site!  I am so excited about the new look — I think it’s more user-friendly, more polished to view, and even includes Hokie orange.  What more could a girl want?!

The process for getting this new design was incredibly frustrating.  As most of you know, I have a degree in Computer Science so that makes me more than competent to do web design, right?  WRONG.  It gives me just enough competence to roll my eyes at you for asking me to fix your cell phone and too little to do graphic design well.  I love so many of the Blogger websites out there (for you non-bloggers out there, Blogger is the other blogging platform, you know, the one I don’t use and usually ends in blogspot.com) but the benefit of WordPress is how customizable it is…except that I don’t need a lot of customization.

At this point, I bet you’re probably wondering why the hell I use WordPress.  You know how you embark on a new DIY project and you’re standing in the hardware store all confused about brands and products when a customer service person tells you, “well this brand will do the job but this brand has all these features.”  You start getting all excited about all the features you’ll probably never use and next thing you know you’re walking out of the new store with a fabulous product and empty pockets?  We all do it.  I live in an apartment so my DIY projects are pretty limited.  In fact, you’re staring at the biggest one.

When I decided to redesign this past week, I clicked through all of my favorite blogs and tried to make a list of what I liked and didn’t like about them.  One thing that I noticed is that most of these blogs have used professional web designers and/or premade designs.  However using a professional web designer costs over $100 and many of them have long wait lists, if they’re even accepting new clients.  I started searching for premade templates and became immediately overwhelmed by the options, except that most of the options were not girly or cute or would work for me.  After three days of trying to make a decision and not wanting to sacrifice aesthetics, I ended up looking at Etsy on a whim when I found Steph Anne’s shop. I loved all of her designs and her website so I purchased one I liked!  She responded super quickly and it was very easy to change the header for my blog.  I recommend her for any blog design/upgrades you may be considering.

Big thanks again to Steph Anne!

So for those of you that have been following (which I think are my three best friends and my tweethearts), you may have noticed that I’ve been dropping off the grid more frequently than usual and I seem to always be “not feeling well”.  I make plans and end up sleeping through them.  I am leaving work earlier than usual more often than usual because of aches, pains, headaches, anxiety, and exhaustion.  I’ve been cranky.  I’ve been unmotivated.  I’m hungry.  Worst of all, I’m not losing weight.  In fact, I’m gaining weight.  So much for losing weight this year!

At the beginning of the year, my impacted wisdom tooth got infected.  (yes, I should have done these before the crowns but the crowns are so pretty!  You know what?  I own it.)  This infection then led to a sinus infection.  Once these cleared up, I got the tooth removed and then got dry socket.  I changed primary care physicians (In case you were wondering, forgoing a PCP and using only urgent care only works if you never need to go to the doctor.  Yes, those doctors do recognize you after awhile!).  My new PCP required a physical, where she found indications that I have hyperthyroidism among other things.  She decides to retest after two months and those two months passed ever so slowly.  When I went back to the doctor last week, we got into a 20 minute argument where she suggested reasons for my exhaustion and I shot them down (hey!  i had to fast for that appointment.  i blame my abrasiveness on starvation.  ):

“have you tried exercise?” “yes, but this is different than just needing more energy” “well you’ve been gaining a lot of weight the last six months.” “im so hungry i could eat you right now” “have you tried snacking on celery and carrots to make yourself more full?”  “have you tried listening to me?  something’s wrong.” “gaining weight isn’t a symptom of hyperthyroidism, which is what your bloodwork is showing.”  “ok, then it’s something else.  but i don’t think i should have to sleep in my car at lunch to get through a work day ”

Thankfully, she didn’t kick me out of her office for being a jerk or engage me in an argument, like I’ve had PCP’s do in the past.  Instead she thought about it while I thought about the mints in my purse and asked if I had ever been tested for Lyme Disease.  I actually laughed in her face.  We shall call this the-second-dumbest-thing-regarding-this-situation.  The IgG Western Blot test she ran came back positive.  More bloodwork is being run (both thyroid and C-reactive protein) and we’ll see what the treatment options are.

Lyme is contracted via tick so I started trying to determine when I would have gotten bitten and if I had gotten the stereotypical symptoms, a bullseye rash followed by flu-like symptoms.  I live in Virginia — a state having such an epidemic that our governor recently formed a task force — so it’s definitely feasible that I got bit.  I went to a lot of outdoor concerts during the past two summers so I started racking my brain for any suspicious bug bites that appeared after sitting on the lawn at these concerts.  Where’s Doctor House and his team to rifle through my life when I need him?  Then it occurred to me that there was one so large and hot and red that I had taken a picture with my phone and emailed it to my mom in 2009.  You know that show Hoarders?  I’m like that with media.

That looks a little like a bullseye, doesn’t it?  Ok, stop concentrating on the fact that I located this and concentrate the rash! The timestamp was two days after a series of pictures from one of those outdoor concerts.  Then I started wondering if I had gotten the flu symptoms after the bite.  I work at the same company that I did then so I checked my leave statement and damn if I didn’t take sick leave the following week for a cold.  The official dumbest thing I did regarding this entire situation?  Not go to the doctor for a bug bite that was so weird I sent it to my parents!

I’m just glad that the doctor is “on to something.”  I’m also glad that it looks like there are treatment options that will make me feel better if she determines that this is what’s causing all my health problems (which includes panic attacks, gastrointestinal issues, achy joints, headaches, exhaustion).  I’m not sure what has been worse — losing quality of life or feeling like no one believes me when I flake out all the time.

So that’s the deal.  Big thank you to The Pasta Queen and Karen, who have been huge supports through their books and email.

This book was recommended to me by a dietician who quickly realized that I’ve been in a lifelong struggle with my weight.  Most of us that have had a lifelong struggle have been stuck in a restrictive eating-overeating pattern for a long time.  This book strives to address these patterns by challenging the reader’s belief system.

“The Rules of ‘Normal’ Eating” begins with a description of a woman who simply didn’t feel like a dessert and how the writer just couldn’t get over it because she was too busy trying to figure out how many she could carry back on one plate.  But that’s about where the humor ends.  The rest of the book is informative but not-touchy-feely, not warm and friendly, and certainly not funny.  She is someone who herself struggled with disordered eating so I found it ironic that I felt like I could relate very little to the content of the book.  Actually, truth be told, I could barely get through the book.

I always try to take something from everything I read and the biggest piece I took from this book was that there are no quick-fix diets.  You should strive to reframe your beliefs about your body and food and work to develop a healthy relationship with it.  After all, it’s just fuel for your body.

Seriously, I can’t make this up.  I was midway through my Thin Mints/Samoas/Tagalongs ride of calorie doom when I see the voicemail indicator appear on my phone.  I’m pretty sure my mouth was still full of Thin Mint as I’m listening to the promotional offer for the new Jenny Craig location in my neighborhood.  What could make this situation any worse?  The fact that I then did a Google search of binging on Girl Scout cookies.  I’m not the only one who does this each year, right?!  Answer: I’m not.  Also the remedy for this?  Read this article…or this one….

In OTHER news, I joined a Running 101 program at my local running store, Potomac River Running, and we had our first class last night!!!  Many people in my life, including my mom and best friend, have been talking about “getting into running” and racing this year.  However “getting into running” for me ends up with some kind of expensive purchase (i.e., running shoes, running watch, Nike+ to name a few) and about two days of a half-assed attempt, soreness, frustration, and giving up.  Remember last year’s C2k failure?

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I’ve been following WeightWatchers on and off for about 8 years now.  I’ve also done Atkins, South Beach, SlimFast, calorie counting, and even a brief affair with Jenny Craig.  I keep coming back to WeightWatchers for one simple reason: it works and I never feel deprived.  I wasn’t on the program (even though I was paying for it) when it changed over to PointsPlus and I really struggled with it when I decided to go “back on plan”.  After three weeks trying to get my arms around it, I think I am finally at a point where I am comfortable with it enough to give it a review:

Like the previous program, you get an allotted number of points to eat per day and flexible weekly points to use whenever.  Like the previous program, each food has a points value.  However, the difference is in how the points are calculated.  The PointsPlus value for foods are no longer based on calories but fat, fiber, protein, and carbohydrates.  Thus, your heavily processed and higher sugar foods are going to be higher in points — even if the manufacturer has hiked the fiber value up (which used to drop the Points value).  Fruits and vegetables are zero points and thus unlimited.  You also still receive points for activity.

Pros: The program was hard to get used to at first because I had to re-learn the values for all my favorite foods but I am ultimately loving it.  I think making the fruits and vegetables unlimited was genius, especially for those of us that struggle with binging and emotional eating.  You can binge as much as you want on fruits and vegetables but, really, how many strawberries are you really going to eat?  It reinforces listening to your body but in a controlled manner by using nutritious foods instead of processed foods.  Making fruits and vegetables unlimited also removes any feeling of deprivation.  The other day I “ran out” of points by eating as much as I am allotted by lunch but I was able to eat plain salad, vegetables, and fruits for snacks and dinner.  Since I knew that I could still have them and that I wasn’t “done eating for the day”, I didn’t feel that the day was already ruined (which would ultimately turn into an excuse for binging).  Plus, I lost 3.4 lbs this week!!!

Cons: Like most people have already spread all over the internet, all of your old WW references are now void.  All those websites and books and even old points calculators are useless if you’re following the new program.  You have to calculate EVERYTHING again.  To be honest, I don’t even trust the values on the boxes of Healthy Choice and LeanCuisine meals.  As a side note, I’m doing the online program and, while it’s super convenient, I miss the accountability and fanfare of the meetings.  It was fun getting on the scale and celebrating a loss with someone!

Bottom Line: It still works.  I am eating better than I ever did on the old program.  It’s annoying at first if you’re not a completely new member because you can’t use your old materials.  But I think the new program is going in the right direction by getting people to eat more whole foods.  It definitely has me moving in the right direction!  I ate pineapple, an apple, banana, mango, and spinach today alone!!  And none of it was fried or smothered in a sauce!